Brotherly Love, My thoughts on LGBT.

When someone who was very close to me came out I found myself confused, and trying to make everything in my heart and head match up and make sense. I cried so much about it. I’ve always had LGBT friends. I’m one of those “love everyone, don’t judge, we all have the ability to live our lives and choose where we want to be, so who am I to say anything” type person. Love comes very easily for me. Those people shared different religious beliefs so I never thought about it or let it weigh heavy on my mind. This person however was of the same faith as me, and I just couldn’t understand. I prayed, and prayed, and fasted about it to find peace, to find clarity, to make it “make sense.” All I could think about was the loneliness this person had been dealing with hiding it, the loss this person would feel losing love or losing religion. Mostly I couldn’t help but think about how others would treat this person, the bullying, the judgment, the possible shunning and hurt they would experience probably for the rest of their lives because of the culture that surrounds us. It was a heavy weight. At this time I was also taking a Family Foundations class which added to the personal confusion and tears. I felt like my answer came to me one afternoon inside the Rexburg Temple. I was praying about it once again just seeking peace and just as clear as ever the thought came to me “Carree, Why are you so upset? What are you so worried about? You know about Christ’s Atonement in your own life. You have experienced that indescribable love, that shift in your life. That change. You know that God knows and loves all his children. You know that during the Atonement Christ felt the pains and sins and struggles, the sadness and loniness of every single person. He knows that person better than you do and He has taken care of it. Why are you still upset?” That was one of the most peaceful times in my life. I trust that God will protect this loved one of mine. I trust that the hurts will all be healed. My love for them never changed, and I learned that God’s love for them never changed either. This is just a brief sum up of a very personal experience I would share more but I really want to talk about what I’m really passionate about, and anyone that knows me knows that it is anti-bullying and love for all.

This is mostly directed at those who share my LDS faith (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints), most of the facts I’ll present here about loving our LGBT brothers and sisters come from LDS websites, scriptures and beliefs. This Blog is also for those who believe that church is cruel or hateful to LGBTs. That is NOT in the doctrine. Imperfect people trying to live the Gospel may misunderstand or mistreat others but that is not what God is about. On that note I want to also state that this is NOT a blog about “Right or Wrong” “Human Rights” “Religious stand point on homosexuality” This is a blog post about Brotherly love and how we treat those who see the world differently than we do. If anyone has questions feel free to ask me them. On that note I want to begin. It might be a little choppy but I promise I will try to get it to come together nicely and hopefully say the message I am trying to convey.

Agency: Agency is the ability and privilege God gives us to choose and to act for ourselves. Agency is essential in the plan of salvation. Without agency, we would not be able to learn or progress or follow the Savior. With it, we are “free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil” ( 2 Nephi 2:27) (https://www.lds.org/topics/agency?lang=eng)

We believe in agency, we believe in freewill. We all can choose the life, and lifestyle we all want to live. No one is perfect and we are asked not to judge, only Christ who perfectly understands is to judge. In Matthew 7:1-5, the Savior says judge ye not; how can you see clearly to cast the mote out of your brother’s eye when there is a beam in yours? It is a command not to look at other’s sins when you have your own sitting right behind you. Not one of us is perfect. Not one of us is qualified to judge. However we are commanded to love. Christ taught when asked what the two great commandments were his response was 1) Love God. 2) Love one your neighbor as you love yourself.  (Matthew 22:36-39)

The church handbook says: "While opposing homosexual behavior, the Church reaches out with understanding and respect to individuals who are attracted to those of the same gender. If members feel same-gender attraction but do not engage in any homosexual behavior, leaders should support and encourage them in their resolve to live the law of chastity and to control unrighteous thoughts. These members may receive Church callings. If they are worthy and qualified in every other way, they may also hold temple recommends and receive temple ordinances." 
(https://www.lds.org/handbook/handbook-2-administering-the-church/selected-church-policies#214)

Also the church has a complete website about our members who are doing their best and trying to live the gospel while finding peace with their attraction. (http://mormonsandgays.org) We all have things we are trying to learn in this life.

We are instructed to give support. We are instructed to take the lessons we study about charity, the pure love of Christ, and apply it to our lives. We are to love. In Moroni 7:45 it states “And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth in the truth, bearth all things, believeth all things, eudureth all things.” Verse 46 starts by saying, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth…” this same doctrine is taught in the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  We are to love to the end, though it’s hard, we are to be kind, no exceptions.

A really great example of this is the Story of Tom Christofferson. I’ll share the clip of an article that had his story that really hit home for me. Here it is:   
“The challenge for my church isn’t that we don’t know everything we wish we knew about where gays fit into the eternal scheme of things. A higher power will sort that out. The more immediate challenge is to help church members and local leaders set a tone and example so that gay members feel welcome in our congregations. Our doors should be open, our pews inviting. In my travels I have visited a congregation in New Canaan, Connecticut, that serves as a model example. Tom Christofferson is an openly gay Mormon who attends services there. Tom’s backstory is a lot like Clark Johnsen’s – strong Mormon upbringing, served a mission, left the church due to his sexual identity being in conflict with his faith. But a few years ago he decided to return to the church. He is still with his gay partner of 18 years. Yet his congregation has embraced them. He sings in the choir, attends all meetings, and has shared his testimony from the pulpit. It started with a compassionate bishop.

"Tom's presence has made me a better person," New Canaan resident and JetBlue Airways founder David Neeleman told me. "I wish there were three or four Tom Christoffersons in every Mormon congregation. We'd learn to be more tolerant, more compassionate."

I know and admire Tom. I also admire his brother D. Todd Christofferson, who is one of the Twelve Apostles in the Mormon Church. The Christofferson family’s approach to the situation is a pattern for other families with gay children. "Quite soon after I came out,” Tom said, “My parents took an opportunity to express to my brothers and their wives their determination that nothing would be allowed to break the circle of love that binds all of us together as a family. As they expressed it, while none of us is perfect as individuals, we can be perfect in our unconditional love for each other."

http://www.jeffbenedict.com/index.php/blog/35-blog/378-maybe-ill-meet-a-girl

Everyone, everywhere can learn from this family.

In Utah every 11 days a teen commits suicide, one in three of those suicides is a LGBT. That’s once a month (simple math 1/3 of 30)  under the pressure of bullying, lack of love from families, and trying to find peace with their self, an LGBT child ends their life and the solution is so simple: kindness, imperfect people loving each other enough to put aside that difference and be a friend, be a parent. (http://mormonstories.org/teen-suicide-in-utah/) On top of that 20-40% of homeless youth in Utah are LGBT. Kicked out, or have moved out because parents were unable to continue loving the child that they raised. These statistics really break my heart. Is this the application of Christ like love the Savior asked us to have? Even coming from parents who are to love and support their own flesh and blood.

I want to end pretty much where I started with Christ and the Atonement and my personal answer. When Christ paid the price for all sin and all pain, he experienced what homosexual temptations would feel like, he experienced the loneliness, he experienced the sadness and pain of what it would feel like to be abandoned and tormented, and he overcame it all. He knows and understands what we cannot, and his final command is to love.

productivity...it's a relative term

I'm about to write my second post for this month, I'm not so sure if this is a good thing, maybe I should be filling my time better? I'm here at the library to do an assignment however I left my headphones at home. my goal of finishing that assignment have now been dashed to pieces and a new idea is born spontaneous blog post, usually when I sit down to greet you guys with charm and charisma, there is often a point, a thought on point, one that I hope will entertain or inspire. Today I feel like like I'm on stage with absolutely nothing planned, scary but some what liberating and exciting. But what to share?

 I'll think out loud and throw out a few ideas, I turn 21 in less than a week? that feels too dull, too personal something that you might not relate to or think on. I mean don't get me wrong I'm excited to celebrate the last 21 years. Life it's a beautiful gift. With these years I've become well, who I am, I've got a head full of knowledge and facts that bounce around. I've got a heart full of experiences that get pumped through my veins and warm my body. and I've got a soul that knows there is so much more to learn and grow on. I feel like that's enough, I don't need to celebrate or go on and on about it but I have time and empty pages that need to be written for the curious eyes that linger here looking for something so I progress to new ideas.

I could blog about my recent tanning experience, it's a well know fact that I'm a sun lover, a warm day seeker, a complete vitamin D junkie. I mean nothing kisses the skin better than the sun's sweet rays nothing warms the heart like warm bare feet on a nice day. (not quite as romantic I know but still it's a feeling I truly adore). Ambition, she is my bittersweet friend, I mean what more could she be for someone like me who follows whims, chases dreams, and has list a dreams that in size rivals that of mountains? Ambition, I had decided to write a letter in the sun so I could get my feelings out, get a tan and around feel revitalize and rejuvenated. I even brought a book for afterwards, sunlight reading is simply magical. Oh dear sweet ambition I began my letter "Dear" and that was all. Now before think this is just me being discreet and not wanting to share the Identify of the letter receiver it's not, I did not even get that far before I laid my head to rest and ponder out how I was going to go about this letter, and which person I wanted to write first. It didn't take long before I had drifted off into a delightful nap in the noon day sun, waking up feeling a little toasty I decide it's time to roll over, even out, and read. I get lost in this book I find myself entertained while learning, my favorite way to be. Hours have past at this point only to go inside cherry red the suns sweet kisses took a turn for the bitter like my last sweet kiss, letter not written, however the book had a nice bite out of it and was rather enjoyed. Instead of being sad I felt amused, I found the whole situation rather funny. Maybe this notion is where what I will blog about.

While reading, and yes I figure a few of you are curious to know what I was reading, it's Simply Sane by Debbie Bowen, (Don't judge I'm addicted to short books about positive thought and push you to be a better person in this world.) I'll begin again, while reading this book, I had the thought, I'm a silver lining junkie. I don't know if the thought had too much to do with the book itself but it came to me and It sparked something in me. I cannot help but look at the sliver-lining, fall on the side of hope, the side never give up, believe that nothing is over even after the fat lady sings. I can't help but believe that every person is worth a chance, everyone can change, no one is perfect, and that love is the cure. And it's strange because life hasn't exactly been a picture perfect picnic, my parade has been rained on, Real Life has taken her swings at me, and I've been made to take the long way, and I've chosen the rough road a few times, through my experiences you would think experience would have made a realist out of me, sometimes people look at me and wonder how through everything I could still be so optimistic, so cheery and bubbly still be me. I don't know maybe through it all I've learned that there is no road to long as long as you get back home, there is always ALWAYS hope because sometimes life is more like the movies than we think, I mean they had to get their ideas from somewhere. I've seen changes and meet outstanding people just as giving them a chance, we all become what we are expected to become so expect the best from everyone and it's all you'll see. Maybe I'm this way because I force myself to see if from other perspectives, see it how I would if I were in their shoes, simply see that we're all flawed and if my best is good enough why shouldn't everyone's best be good enough? and for that matter how do I know what their best is? I just believe the quote I once heard "assume everyone is doing the best they can, where they are, with what they've got." What you focus on is what you see. I focus on the good and it's all I can see. I can't help it. Now the real question is: Is this outlook a blessing or a curse? I feel like it's a blessing I mean it works for me it keeps me happy and it keeps me sane. And honestly I don't think this world was created for sadness. I think each day has hope and why else would we be put here? And that blessing that idea, that knowledge I think is where I owe most of my optimistic beliefs, that is where my heart finds it's comfort and it's notion to continue on in positiveness. 

 Well the library is going to close. I've accomplished a lot. not quite what I had planned but life is full of unexpected adventures. Embrace them. Live life, live freely but safely follow the right guidelines. Smile. Laugh everyday even if it's for no reason, even if you have to fake it LAUGH. breathe and relax, and as usual don't get carree'd away.

xo carree

ps I'll proof read this again later. 

comic relief in life.

Laughter. It heals practically everything. Well there are better ways for deeper healing but on a simple level laughter can fix a day. It can be a turning point. It always makes me feel better. So our story begins just a few hours ago.

My little cousin likes to play soccer with me. Before you get to impressed with me let me say that he is in 1st grade, and is more excited about how far I can kick and how I can "out-smart" him. So I'm no star just a big kid a little kid looks up to with long legs, and far kicks. He taught me some tricks and we did drills where I was very quickly reminded that I have two left feet. VERY entertaining! However these are not the shannagins of which I have intended to blog about, the story I wish to recount to you my dear readers is that happened while we were playing. But to tell that story I have to preface with something that happened a few months ago.

A good friend of mine, one who confessed to wanting to be mentioned in my "famed" blog and now has the chance but it will for sure NOT be how they would like it done but it gives me quite a kick to do it this way, any ways I digress, so back to the story. While chatting and swapping stories to pass the time with my friend they told me of their childhood adventures, and a few misadventures. I was quite entertained however my FAVORITE story was one that involved a younger version of my friend, greeting his daddy after a long day of work. Sounds picture perfect and adorable right? WRONG, my friend went to rest their hand on the truck bed unknowingly right on top of a bee, which flew into the collar of their shirt and stung them right in the neck. When they told me this I thought I was going to die laughing. I'll admit, it wasn't the best thing a friend should do. But I couldn't help it. now this is the reader digest to the story, but I got a huge kick out of it, anything I would think about it I was laugh to myself.

If you're grinning now I take it you've figured out the road I'm on and where this is going.

Setting? Check. Preface? Check. Now it's time for the story. So the intense soccer battle continues when I hear a buzz in my ear, instant panic, my heart races and I jumped out of my skin, swatting my hair and trying to shoo this tiny terrorist out of my hair. The buzzing stops. VICTORY! SUCCESS! Those who know me know I fall slightly on the snarky smug side. I grin and think to myself, "yeah no bee is getting this neck, pshh I got this." So we keep playing. With my "incredible skills" I kick the soccer ball under my brother's car. Rake in hand we try to get the ball out from under the car, midprocess I hear the buzzing again and there is NOTHING I can do to stop it. The little beast ended up tangled in my hair. The rest is all downhill from there,   I felt him fly in to the back of my shirt. Defeat. He was stuck and I was doomed. Unbelievable I was trapped. He got me, stung in the shoulder.

Ever had to eat words? Better yet ever had to mentally eat your own words and feel the irony tickle your tummy? Yeah. Best part? Telling your little siblings about both incidents and getting laughed just as hard by two people. I never have to eat my words, I'm too clever, and yet today I had to eat them. VERY entertaining. But you know what? I laughed. it was so funny, it was so great, it was the perfect ironic comic relief life could have handed me. I laughed my little head off, and I hope that the thought and the mental picture of the graceful and classy me, dancing the dance of life with the bee today makes you laugh. it was funny to see.

In the words of motion city sounds track, "I'm a mess I'm a wreak" but in the words of the writer, the liver and the dreamer, Carree. I'm a mess, I'm a wreak, I'm one of a kind and I'm happy. I dance to the beat of my own drum, maybe even a tambourine. But I enjoy the strangeness in life that lets you know nothing happens by chance. And anything can make you laugh if you're looking for happiness. I am who I am, and I share it with my readers. Read, learn of my oddities but don't get carree'd away!

xo carree

PS to those who have asked me about my blog. I'm way sorry I don't update as much as I should! I haven't forgotten you! I'll try to be better. BUT in all fairness I WARNED you! I tell you everytime! Don't get carree'd away! I can't help who I am and my irresistibly. Unprofessional to admit, I know, but I can't help it I'm a rebel. my dears I'll warn again, run! Don't get carree'd away!

rarely do I wear my insides on my outsides.

Fact. The above statement is truer than true. I'm not one for talking about the deep caverns of my heart. I can talk for days about the small little things in life the details that don't matter as much; the "face value" things. Those deep things that mean so much to me, that destroy me when are taken lightly. Parts of my whole soul. It's such a risk to give them free to the internet and it's vastness. However I've been raised my whole life that if you have something good, something that truly brings you comfort share it. I mean isn't that what we all do when we try something new and delish? TRY THIS. or when you see a movie that has you on the edge of your seat? YOU HAVE TO SEE IT, I'LL EVEN SEE IT AGAIN WITH YOU IF YOU WANT. DANNNNNGGGG. this things happen so often. I do this so much it's funny to think about. for me it's the standard things as previously mentioned as well as other things such as Kiva, or a good book, a funny clip, and inspiring CD, a "SHOWER JAM." The most wonderful and silly things in life need to be share. As the human race moves forward technology puts such vastness between us even though it unifies us. It's almost as though we are unified in out boredom to cluster together on social networks. I've spent some time off line and really tried to figure out who am and and where I'm heading. At times I've felt as though I've just been cluelessly walking in blissful unawareness as to the speed or direction I was heading. so entranced that I didn't really take much thought to the unrest and siring that was taking place deep within my frame.  

Of course with blissful unawareness there always follows the jaws theme song where the unrest slow craws into the conscious mind before a total attack takes place leaving nothing but bloody rubble. The unsteady waters started a few days ago, (the 23rd to be specific if anyone is DYING to know ahaha). It's that feeling we all know, the feeling shifts just like a change it the breeze it's subtle but enough to earn a look up and a pause for thought. 

Lack of peace. I can't describe it. Those who have experienced it know of the wordlessness it causes a restless soul. I could offer an over used and worn out phrase of yanking the carpet out from under you but I feel that doesn't quite do it. I feel like the carpet yank and fall come later than that first inkling. 

I'm the type to panic, relax, PANIC, ...relax then a dull nervous feeling before final relaxation. it's a short trip actually considering today is the 27th and I feel as if I could fly. I honestly feel as though I surpassed where I was before and stand on new fresh clean soil and a new place that is better than before. GROWTH. it's strange. I feel as if I leave it here you truly miss the beauty of the journey. you miss the real story. this is the story I would usually casually tell. this is the "face value" story. 

But I'm truly at a lost for words as to how to tell the whole story, where to start, how much to say and how to paint the profound understanding and peace I feel is almost impossible to do as all our experiences make our understandings so different. Our backgrounds, our key phrases and word emotion attachments are so unique that no two can truly share the same whole picture. What factors we choose to focus on and blur out are all so different. Different. That word. Different. It's a word that always gives and "negative" vibe. They are different how could they understand. I love and embrace difference, I walk and talk with difference, it is what adds strokes of color to a world that would be bland with only sameness. It's our differences that make us who we are and our similarities and willingness to love and accept one another that bring us together. I digress.

I guess that is a round-about and strange place to start. but round-about and strange is how I am so it's only fitting to start there. We are different. But we all have value. Immeasurable value. As dear old wise Albert said “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Why are our eyes always drawn to our flaws? Why can't we see that swimming is a wonderful life that we are smart in our own quirky ways? I know we all have choice and accountability. We have the power to choose what we are going to do, and we are accountable for those choices we don't get to choose the consequences. Oh but at times I wish I convince people to choose to see the light that they have and the purpose that they hold. We were designed with a purpose with individual talents and abilities to help us build each other and find happiness. I mean if I compared my self to a super model instead of enjoying being a fish life wouldn't be quite as enjoyable, I'm short dark haired, pale, thick thighed and green-eyed. Vogue would simply over look me in less than seconds. but if I think about me, I'm clever, full of random facts, simple, approachable and friendly. I may not be able to "climb trees" but I'm happy with out it. I've reached peace.   

Happiness. True happiness. Those who know me when asked to describe me easily throw out that word. "happy carree" "sunshiney carree" "she's a cheerful little thing" "why can't I have the positiveness that you have" "the silver lining is instantly there for you" It's true I focus all my energy on happiness, and peace. Feeling pleasant as often as possible. Only allowing big things to take bites at me. I will let you in on a secret I don't often share. it is not as easy as it looks, it doesn't come effortlessly, it doesn't come without tears every now and then. But it is so worth it. and with time it because easier because I'm not doing it alone. And no one really has to. I've spent the last three days praying for peace, praying for comfort, understanding and praying for direction. it's so surreal when prayers are answered word for word. It nice for once not to know what's going to happen but to understand what's happened.  I feel so good which is odd for me as not knowing the future usually brings me anxiety. But I feel happy, I feel full of faith. and I know God know's what's going to happen and it's in His hands. 

Well I can't explain it. but I feel awesome. :) I could try all day to but in the end you wouldn't feel the calm I feel. so I'll save myself some time and finger work and end here. don't get carree'd away.

xo carree

Nonsense perfect sense.

oh life.
the shannagins that unfold in the simple twenty-four hour segments that make up the measurements in which you are told, oh the days of our lives.
moments, the moments, brief, passing, flickering by to track time.
time, the only thing that cannot held on to.
cling to it as you may it slips between fingers. it escapes our grasps like the breaths of the drowning.
time is unforgiving, but so merciful, as it never goes back but always allows the new start. it's endless. but it can never be changed. closure.
my temper. I should be a red head.
facts. FALSE. clarity? sincerity. oh sweet simplicity.
I have a great love of beautiful phrases. they live in my brain and play back to me like a static filled old radio that play sweet jazz and blues to my anxious restless soul. comfort. that's what they are.
mhmmm Frank Sinatra on pandora. sit with me. sing to me. read to me. I close my eyes and hear your voice, your phrases. enchanting voices ones that hold your attention. I wish my voice were like Audrey Hepburn in breakfast at tiffany's mhm her words, her voice.

darling.
where is my darling?
rats.
Super Rats.

that cursed pounding in my chest.
that ream of emotion that lives there.

I want to fly away on a hot air balloon and see the world.

let me ride shotgun, you take the wheel.
lets travel to the ocean, take off our shoes, let our toes dance in the sand.
"our" "lets" implies more than one. unity. togetherness.
I don't want your kisses.
I just want to count the sands of the sea and let the sun kiss my skin.
the wind can blow your hair.
the salty air can kiss your lips.
a moment.
time frozen.

you can't save time.
but you can have moments that freeze it.
mindbottling the things life is capable of.
puzzle and unpuzzle, mentally mold and play with: thoughts.
oh thoughs.
impossible.
possible.

life simply isn't breath. live for something. I live for words part time and dreams the other. I live for religion, beauty, peace. I live to love and to lift those who need happiness. I live to smile, and pray that when my time is spent, I get the pleasure, the joy to leave this life and pass to the next. I hope the lines on my face retell the story of the life that I live, the the lines that encircle my eyes show a smile. and that when you look into those age-worn, life-lived eyes they tell stories of wind tangled hair and sunset beaches. I long for the moments to shine in my eyes. memories should always live forever, even if our bodies don't. oh starry night wrap your arms around me and hold me close.

I want to end but I can't gracefully conclude... so love the words, stay classy, and don't get to carree'd away.
xo carree

Oh titles you are a challenge for me.

There are two things in life that I've realized bring me happiness. Fall weather and resting my forehead against a cold window pane. I’ve also never felt the serene peace and silence that come from calm reassurance.

Let me stop there it’s not like me to start a blog with the actual blog! I need my preface. I need my pointless fluffy intro. Let me start over.

WORDS. Letters forming groupings that are WORDS. I love them. I know at this point you all know that. I’m a 20 year old who owns and digs a thesaurus. When I count my blessings words are something that make the list. Communication. Expression between yourself and this world. Communication between family, friends, all those you love. Understanding. Never have words let me down, in their beauty they are each different. Each triggers a different feeling or thought, each can display a point that can help beings relate and grow closer. But words even in their best I have found just don’t make the cut at describing some thoughts. FEELINGS sometimes don’t have words. Things that just click for you, maybe events that relate and create a understanding of a point but yet can’t be explained. Feelings can lead to endless knowing for you but opening your mouth you only have beautiful disastrous word vomit fall to the ground. (classy imagery I know) because there is no way of saying what is so clear to you. As a self proclaimed “word nerd” I never thought it would come to the point where I wouldn’t be able to reach into my heart and pull out the words to help each person I talk to. I’ve always found the words and rhythms to do the dance of communication. But in the last few days, I’ve met my match. I’ve reached feelings that have no words, I’ve experienced a calm that there is no justice to describing. In the words of Dr. Seuss “So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.” So where are my words all I have a feelings that dance in my chest and press against my rib cage. Each time I try to express them their dance gets more excited, and my smile grows and yet alas no words.  

In times of distress I find that I find my understanding on my knees with my eyes close seeking guidance from those above who know far greater than I do. Peace. That’s what I got. It’s like sitting on a beach watching the waves wash over the sand. Only I’m the sand. And the waves some silent understanding that pours over me and gracefully slides back where in came from in a pattern and rhythm that can’t be explained. I’m content. No, I’m happy. I know there is deeper meaning.

I learned that in time when a small voice says “not a good idea” that I should listen I can think of so many times in life where if I’d listened the impact would have been immeasurably better. However I don’t kid myself into believe that the past can be changed. It cannot. So I just learn, learning it’s a strange yet simple thing. You can learn it and know or you can live it and KNOW. One thing I can do is learn from a mistake, and pray to understand. You will.

I’ve spent all day with words and phrases, expressions and questions running in and out of my head. But now as I sit at the computer all I want to do is read Dr. Seuss quotes.I guess maybe feelings and learnings like this are ment for the learner alone. Some feelings I guess are too well too ________ to express, too I don’t know wordlessly wonderful for words?  

Hmmm. I guess this will be the shortest post ever written dear readers. I apologize. I’ll write again on another day. Until that day enjoy fall. Breathe in the crisp air. Let the small moments count. Slow down and count your blessings. Watch leaves fall. Don’t let the changing colors miss your attention, or you will pass the reds, yellows, and greens. Take time to enjoy the wonder around you before it’s just brown, cold, naked trees. And the frosts of winter take over. Bring a nice cup of hot chocolate and let the wind blow through your hair on a silent walk in the fall night. Enjoy what you have before you eyes, because everything has its season before the change sets in. Don’t under estimate what you have.  

Short. Simple. No real understanding of the feelings, but words read between friends bring them closer. So come closer my friends. Read me like the book I am. If you need me I’ll be forehead pressed to chilly glass, counting 1,2,3, 20, 56, 77, 78, 79, on and on and on my blessings I will count. Don’t get carree’d away.

xo

carree 

Perspective

Main Entry:	perspective
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	view, outlook
Synonyms:	angle, aspect, attitude, broad view, context,frame of reference,  headset, landscape, mindset,objectivity, overview,  panorama, proportion,prospect, relation, relative importance,  relativity,scene, size of it, viewpoint, vista,  way of looking
Notes:	perspective  is a way of regarding situations ortopics or a mental view or  the state of one'sideas;  prospective  means concerned with orrelated to  the future

Oh Thesaurus you are a dear friend of mine, you make beautiful words that much more profound, deeper meanings, deeper thinking. Words with so many meanings can be interpreted so many different was. It’s fascinating to know that even with so much to translate within the same language with so many meanings and trigger words to understand feelings which are that much more complex. Feelings. Emotions. And to describe them with words with different meanings and understandings from person to person? Yes, it amazes me that we are able to build relationships with other human beings as we do. Sorry sidetracked by the complexity of something we do so automatically and unthinkingly everyday. Communication. Profound. BUT on to the reason for blogging.

Stress. Life. Less than sunny feelings. Rare for me I know however when rain clouds come and I feel a "character building day" coming on I try to brace myself and I go for walks. Walks or wonderings they clear my head and make the world simpler. I truly am a simple girl in a simple work. Plain is perfect. I digress back to the topic today after one too many verbal or communicative mishaps I thought it would be best if I took myself out for a stroll around the block to bring back sanity. And I stumbling on to a train of though and didn't give off. That ride is what I want to share with you. 

(sorry about the shabby picture quality I didn't have my real camera with me, I should really take him on my wonderings we would have a swell time and I'd probably reach sanity a lot quicker) 

Let me explain why I posted this here. It's a picture of the same thing the only difference is perspective. As everyone knows I go NUTS for the fisheye, it's my favorite angle it's strange, awkward, fun just like me. It makes me happy. I just find it ascetically pleasing. Continuing ... I'm an avid user of the crosswalk buttons and when I went to push it today I noticed that it was my angle my perspective. I had to snap a picture. But when I thought about it, I almost laughed, it's so small so tiny in the grand scheme of things. Just like my plans are to the world and to the eternities. Let me elaborate.

I took these pictures a little while later on my walk. They are of the same thing. Different perspective. The 1st picture again would be of my limited and frustrating perspective. I think that I can do whatever with my lenses and limits which is true we have the power of choice we can choose to do whatever we like but we caution. There are consequences. But it's neat to know that the one leading me has a greater perspective than mine. He can see the whole path and the bright future that lays before me that I simply overlook because I get so focused on the details. Details, the complexities, the unnessisities, the senselessnesses. Simple. Life is simple when you let God take the wheel, and trust.

But we all know trust would be something that I need to work on. I'd elaborate in beautiful words with meanings in layers to unfold ponder and debate about however that is another post for another day because there is a sweet raspberry lemonade and warm speggitti awaiting my arrival. I'm homebound, star struck and eyes shinny once again with sunbeams in my eyes and sunshine in my soul. my dearest and fairest of friends as always know I love you, and in turn love me flaws and all but make me a promise, never get too carree'd away.

xo carree